 |
Given this month’s Egyptian-themed article, it’s anyone’s guess as to what Les Golden has been putting on his breakfast cereal this month – but we’d definitely like to try some.
Well, I certainly can say that last month’s column led to some unexpected, intellectually-fulfilling consequences. I was contacted by a GOM reader at the Egyptian State Antiquities Office! They wanted me to perform research at the Temple of Karnak on some heretofore undeciphered writings found on the Grand Erect Obelisk of Rameses.
Being modest, and misinterpreting their invitation, I declined, but later accepted after being told that the Grand Erect Obelisk of Rameses, the Great and Exalted (affectionately called ‘George’ because of the acronym), is in fact a very tall granite, limestone and sandstone artefact with inscribed hieroglyphics.
Back now in my office, I’ve discovered that those writings were in fact those of an ancient Egyptian high priest and blackjack player, Kharmit el-Phrog.
Here follows my translation. To make the reading easier, I’ve used terms that are familiar to modern players, substituting, for example, ‘electronic computer’ for ‘abacus’, and ‘barred from further play’ for ‘sentenced to 100 years of bondage’…
“Many of the labourers have discovered that counting systems at blackjack have been developed by users of the electronic computer. These counting systems require careful counting of which cards have been played, performing of mathematical calculations in your head, and memorisation of numerous strategy tables. Based on those calculations, you vary your strategy and vary your bet. Some systems monitor the low-value cards, the twos through to sixes, and the high-value cards, the 10-value cards and Aces. Others also keep track of the number of Aces that have been played. At the same time, you have to hide from the dealer that you’re a card counter or you’ll be booted out of the casino. Your photo will be distributed to other casinos and in effect you will be barred from further play.
“Playing on the internet, however, avoids these problems. [Author’s note: I was as shocked as you must be to learn, unless my translation is incorrect, that the internet was in existence more than 3,000 years ago.] Counting systems rely on the removal of cards from the deck, leading to decks that are by chance sometimes either rich in the high-value cards, favouring the player, or rich in low-value cards, favouring the house.
“You can see the advantage in having, for example, a deck rich in ten-value cards. In blackjack, the dealer must take a hit if she has less than 17 (some casinos require the dealer to take a hit on soft 17). The player can either stand or take a hit. If the deck is rich in the 10-value cards and you hold a total of 12 or 13, but the dealer’s up-card is a 2-6, you should stand. Let her take a card, knowing that the probabilities favour her getting a 10-value card and busting.
“In online blackjack you don’t have to worry about such complications. Each card put into play is randomly selected by computer software built into the online blackjack game. The deck never gets rich in either low-value or high-value cards. As a result, instead of dealing with counting systems and their complexities, you can rely on tried and proven, easily learned, basic strategies for playing. I’ll write more about those later. Now I must cut some blocks at the Quarry of Queen Hotshotput at Khalvin al-Hobbes.” End of translation.
Wow, pretty amazing, those Egyptians. I’ll provide more secrets later, including the use of fluids derived from tanna leaves found in ancient, sacred mummy tombs to ‘influence’ the computer.
|
